Jet - Good on your wife for breaking through a tough mental spot. I feel like a lot of times, for me anyway, a mental breakthrough is better than a hard send. For example, I took a good size fall on a route this week that I know I could send. I was feeling pumped, had already taken lower, and was in a super clean fall zone. So, I decided to drop. I didn't send the route (although I'm getting back on it next week) but that fall was exactly the 'training' that I really needed right then. I saw that as a big win for my current head game.
climbnkev - that sounds scary! Good on you for being able to work through it and come back. I have met climbers who don't have fear even when they should (like when they aren't reading the possible outcomes of a fall in a certain spot for example). I think you hit the nail on the head when you said that we have to respect ourselves and where our head is on a given day - it can really change from day to day and is something we have to continually work on.